Television off, party on.

I am unfeeling. I have things to look forward to but i just feel like everything is a waste of time. Why cant ONE guy actually treat me right?

I mean really, how stupid do you think i am? I know you were texting her all night and i saw the look she gave me when she drove away.

I want to look up at you and form constellations with your freckles and never grow tired of looking in your eyes. I want to stare at the ocean until the waves touch me. I want to stand infront of Westminister Abbey and ponder until someone tells me to move. I cant stop dreaming of going to london. I want to have a sense of adventure but i dont want to get my hopes. I just want to feel magic of some sort.

My life has turned into a circle of lonliness and fear. The components involved include jealousy, college coursework, missing my best friend, worry, and many others i have yet to document.

I know of a few boys who would enjoy dating me, but for some reason i would rather date someone who knows me well already. They all have girlfriends though.

And so the circle continues.

Nik has thrown away my oreos. I guess he didnt know they were there but STILL how do you not know there is a whole thing of oreos in the trash?

Lieghton Meester can suck it. I hate her. She isnt even that pretty and i can do better than her in the studio.

LIGHTS is even worse, her voice drives me crazy. She is not pretty and her tattoos mainly are meant to make guys like her even more.

VickyT can go too, i liked her up until the small club tour Cobra did and she is a snob.

The Millionaires arent even that bad anymore, theyre just funny now. I realized they dont take anything seriously and they just have fun with thier so called music.

h8 h8 h8

I honestly hope that i never bring a guy back to my apt. I have pictures of All Time Low/ PATD/ BMTH/ BC all over the walls and i just feel like Alex Gaskarth shouldnt be watching me do that stuff.

But i dont have the heart to take all my posters down.